Adventures in mommyhood

While sniffing my sleeping daughter's butt to locate a "phantom poopy smell" it occurred to me that lately my days have been full of poop, barf and other bodily fluids. I woke up to the sounds my dog throwing up mucous all over his doggie bed, scooped kitty turds off the bathroom floor (the dog enjoys digging in the cat box when no one's looking & leaving me little surprises), cleaned a horrendous diaper explosion. The causalities included Sydney's beloved "Roo" who needed to be washed & dried before naptime. (I dare not attempt to switch out The Roo with another fuzzy friend. I learned my lesson the hard way!) I cleaned what seemed like two pounds of earwax from Sydney's ear mould and got egg, banana & snot sneezed on my cheek during breakfast. I inspected the dog's gums & teeth to search for yet another "phantom smell" and sniffed and sniffed until I located another poopy diaper I forgot to empty from the trash. I got slobbered on by the dog, the cat, the baby...and I will wake up tomorrow anxiously awaiting more adventures in poop, pee, barf, snot & slobber. I'm thinking a manicure might make me feel a little more glamorous when I'm elbow deep in poopy goodness. I'm thinking a french manicure will do the trick.