34 weeks today!

Farewell bikini! Sporting a bathing suit (tent) at 34 weeks exactly!

I'm getting close! I have been on an emotional roller coaster this week. Everything is making me cry. I can't sleep and I'm so bored of the food on this damn GD diet. I "cheated" & ate a cupcake at a bday party last weekend & I almost cried because it was so delicious. I just want to get to the end already...but then when I think of Sydney not being my only baby I start crying & want the days to pass slowly even if it means eating my weight in peanut butter & eggs. It's really pathetic! Other then being a sappy, teary eyed mess, I am feeling great. I'm starting to swell some & getting a bit of hip pain at night but I feel (and look) nothing like I did with Syd. My GD numbers have been excellent so I'm pretty confident I can stay off insulin & remain diet controlled. I'm just so sick of the whole thing but I know it's best for baby & me. I've only gained 19lbs this entire pregnancy and up until this week I've had lots of energy. Syd is on vacation from school so my schedule has been disrupted. It's made me really lazy. I'm putting all my energy into getting the baby's room ready but I'm depending on Stephen to do some work to the room before I can do all the fun, detailed stuff. I'm anxious to get everything put together & I desperately need to get Syd into her big girl bed before too long. I've been having quite a bit of painful contractions so I'm scared this baby will come early and the house will be a mess. I've begun nesting! I'm starting to notice dust on base boards & water drops on the bathroom mirror. Help, it's beginning! I remember with Syd I was up one morning at 5:45am baking blueberry muffins. Yesterday I planted flowers in Syd's garden and last night I was up making jam from the apricots we picked off of our tree. It's crazy! I should be sleeping now but here I am blogging to my 13 (loyal?)followers. I've got so much swirling around in my head which makes it hard to sleep. Things I have yet to do around here, needing a date night with the hubs, my baby shower, all the things I want to do with my sweet girl before this baby comes, boy or girl?, baby names (we have none), baby's hearing, Sydney after the baby comes, my sanity after the baby comes, who is kicking my bladder all night long?. Sigh...I keep telling myself to calm down. "It will all be ok". Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

32 weeks & 5 days

I dreamt the baby was a girl and born at 33 weeks. She was so sweet & beautiful. I felt so protetective over the baby in the dream. I was so upset that everyone was dissapointed it wasn't a boy. I just wanted to grab her, run away and keep her safe. The dream felt so real. It really threw me for a loop since I've been totally convinced this baby is a boy. I'm 34 weeks today so I guess that dream wasn't much of a premonition. I'm back to believing it's a boy...but now there is a seed of doubt planted!

Yucky So Cal smokey sky

My first baby items =)

My Baby Bump - 15 weeks & 3 days. I look huge already! Yikes!

The weekend went by way too fast as usual. We stayed inside for the most part due to the thick smoke caused by the wildfires. I really love the warm Santa Ana winds but they bring devastation every year. The smoke is still pretty thick so I skipped my morning walk across campus.

I thought I felt the baby move the other day - but I think it may have been gas or wishful thinking. There are so many unusual feelings going on in my belly that I can't distinguish anything. I had some pretty intense cramping on Saturday night but it has subsided so I think I'll just wait it out until my appointment a week from today. I have been pretty crampy this whole pregnancy & it's caused quite a bit of worry. I know things are stretching but I can't find anyone who has experienced cramping this extreme & this long into pregnancy. I hope I'm just being paranoid & that things are progressing normally. I have my AFP test on Monday so that is yet another thing to keep me up at night. The worry never ends.

I'm really looking forward to my 18-week ultrasound. Stephen will finally get to see & hear the baby. We have decided to not find out the sex so hopefully the tech doesn't accidentally slip! Or maybe I'm hoping the tech WILL accidentally slip. haha! Since my first pregnancy symptoms surfaced I was convinced this baby is a girl...but lately I have been second guessing my first instinct & I'm feeling a strong possibility that it's a boy. I always pictured myself the mom of boys so if this baby is indeed a little girl I will be really shocked - despite my early instinct. I keep imagining having a little girl & then I imagine having a little boy & I honestly don't know what I'd prefer. I'm so excited either way! No matter what the sex of the baby turns out to be I'm imagining it looking like a baby Stephen. It's so darn romantic to think that a little baby Stephen is growing in my belly. Does that sound creepy? LOL! I think it's pretty cool. I can picture him/her already!