It's a...

GIRL!


Kate Reese
8-2-11 @ 6:31PM
7lb 30z 19 1/2 inches long

Birth Story

I was hoping I'd go into labor on my own before my scheduled c-section on August 10th. Since I had a previous c-section and I had gestational diabetes I was on a bit of a time crunch. I tried everything to induce labor. I ate pineapple (tons of it), Taco Bell, spicy Mexican chile and spicy Thai food. I walked, did squats, went swinging at the park and even visualized going into labor. I took Evening Primrose Oil, had a pedicure and had my membranes stripped. I tried just about every technique I read about online. I was induced with Syd and so I began to doubt my bodies ability to go into labor on it's own. I made peace with the possibility of another c-section and told myself I needed to be patient and let things happen. Stephen kept joking that I had to wait until he finished working his last overtime shift before going into labor. His last day of overtime was on Monday the 1st. I woke up that morning to mild contractions that were coming about every 5- 10 minutes apart. I really didn't think this was any different from the previous days because I had been having contractions for weeks. Shortly after posting my 39 week post (see below) I started to notice the contractions getting stronger and moving into my back and upper abdomen. I felt that there was a very strong possibility this might be the real thing. I started frantically running around the house and packing last minute items. Stephen got home from work at 10:45pm and as soon as he walked in the door I told him we needed to head over to Labor & Delivery. The plan was to have my father in law watch Sydney and then have my sister in law come and take over in the morning. We called them both and finished getting ready to go. We got checked into triage by midnight and were only there for about 20 minutes when they determined I was 4 cm dilated and in active labor. I couldn't believe I had a chance at having a VBAC! They got us checked into our room and we tried to get some sleep. I didn't sleep a wink. The contractions were painful enough to keep me from sleeping and besides I was way too anxious and excited to sleep. By morning my contractions were spacing out and I hadn't progressed much. I was becoming really bummed out because my Dr. had told me that since I was trying for a VBAC I wouldn't be allowed to have pitocin. One of the midwifes came in and said that since I had gone into labor on my own and was already dilated to a 4 that they had decided they would give me a little pitocin to keep things moving along. Yay! They started the pitocin somewhere around 7am. Soon after the pitocin was started my contractions picked up & I started progressing again. I tried to hold off on the epidural as long as possible since I was worried it might slow things down. Soon enough the pain was getting intense so I asked for them to call anesthesia. The midwife was super supportive of me wanting to VBAC and she took things very slow. She was very patient about breaking my water and waited until the baby had dropped a bit and I was dilated to 6.5. Once my water was broken things got super intense. The pain was back with a vengeance. The midwife called anesthesia and they shot some more meds into my epidural. It didn't seem to do much because the pain was almost becoming unbearable. At first I was able to breathe through the contractions and I focused on the second hand on the clock as a distraction from the pain. It seemed to help for a bit. Then all of a sudden the pain went from slightly bearable to completely unbearable. The best way to describe the pain was it felt like a knife was being stabbed up my butt with every contraction. At this point I totally lost control. First there we tears, then uncontrolable sobbing, then moaning, then I began to make these animalistic sounds that were completely involuntary. Between contractions I recall (and Stephen has reminded me) saying the following things.

Help! I'm having butt labor!

I know there is back labor but is there even such a thing as butt labor? Help!

Please don't judge me if I poop!

Help me! I'm going to poop!

This is unnatural!

It's bullshit when people say kidney stones are worse then labor!

This is going to kill me!!!

I'm about to die!!!!!!!!!!

Why am I doing this?

I want a c-section!

and Help me! Help me! Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #$%^!!!

Yeah, it wasn't my finest moment but now I can look back and laugh about it. I kept apologizing to Stephen and my mom and begged them to apologize to the people who (may or may not) heard me from the hall and the other rooms. They assured me that no one could hear me & that there was no need to apologize. The nurse and midwife came to the conclusion that the baby was posterior (sunny side up) and that is why I was having so much pain. They had me get on all fours and rock back and fourth. They instructed Stephen to put pressure on my back during the contractions which helped for maybe a few minutes at the most. Nothing seemed to work to ease the pain and I was begging for more meds. The nurse checked me & I was still at an 8 so she asked if I wanted something else for the pain. Of course I did! They gave me some nubain and it made me black out for a few minutes but it didn't ease the pain in the slightest. Then all of a sudden I felt the baby drop & it felt like I had to push. The nurse checked me & it was baby time! I started pushing and it seemed to relieve the pain slightly. It didn't take long before they prepared for delivery & called the Dr. It so happened my Dr. had started her shift & she would be the one to deliver the baby. It was amazing luck to have my Dr. be the one to deliver since she was the one to be supportive of me having a VBAC in the first place. She never doubted me, sent me for growth scans or discouraged me even with the GD diagnosis. I think I pushed about 6 times before my little angel was born. They immediately put her on my chest & I felt her warm little body. It was amazing. I heard the Dr. say "It's a Girl" & I couldn't believe it! My sweet baby Kate. Another precious little girl to love & adore. I thought the whole time I was having a 9lb boy & "surprise! " it's a spunky 7lb baby girl. There goes my mother's intuition! Although I always dreamt the baby was a girl. I just didn't put much stock into my pregnancy dreams. Anyway, recovery has been great. It's been night and day from my c-section recovery. I was released from the hospital 24 hours after having Kate and have been back to my old routine. I'm so proud of my body and that I was able to do this. I'm thankful that I had a supportive Dr. and an awesome midwife who guided me through the birth. I feel like if I could get through pain of labor then I can get through anything. All I wanted to do was try for another birth experience and I was able to achieve that and more. It sure wasn't what I expected and it was way more painful then I thought it would be. I made it through and I have gained a new respect for my body and my ability to endure. Having a VBAC also gave me a different perspective on Sydney's birth. I can love and appreciate both births in their own way. I think they were equally as difficult and just as amazing and special.

Anyway, life is wonderful. I am so in love with my girls and my hubby. Although life with a new baby & a toddler has also been hectic. Kate is a little sweetheart. I'm trying to get to know her & still give Sydney the attention she needs. I feel so torn. Syd's been acting out and it's put some added stress on me. I'm also having difficulties nursing and today the hormones got the best of me and I've had two crying episodes. I go from thinking I am the luckiest women alive to I am failing at motherhood and breastfeeding. My poor husband was doing his best to console me. He's been so awesome and supportive through everything. I'm trying to take things one day at a time and I keep telling myself things will get easier. It will get easier, right?

I still can't get over the fact I have two girls. Sisters! It's going to be a wild ride! I'm giddy about shopping for Kate and dressing my girls in matching outfits. Fun times ahead!

Here are some photos of the loves of my life.


Daddy's girls!

Love!!!

Surgery Day

Sydney's adenoidectomy and tube surgery went very well. We arrived at the hospital at 9am & checked in. Both sets of grandparents came to comfort a nervous mommy & daddy and kept Sydney's mind off her empty tummy. She had her last bottle the night before at bedtime & the poor little thing was starving. When she would start to fuss the grandparents took turns playing with her, rocking her and walking her around the waiting room. I can't even tell you how much having them there meant to us.

While the grandparents sat in the waiting room, Stephen and I took Sydney back to get prepped from surgery. They gave her a little gown and hooked her up the a bunch of monitors. It broke my heart to see her in her little gown. She was so good and patient while the doctors and nurses came to talk to us. The anesthesiologist came and gave me a liquid sedative to give her orally through a syringe. They had us support her head in case she started to get sleepy. It didn't seem to have any affect her. She crawled all over the hospital bed and got tangled in the wires. I guess it was just meant to relax her so they could put in her IVs. Her Dr. came to talk to us & then the anesthesiologist came to go over the risks of anesthesia. When he told us the worst case scenario would be coma or death it felt like a knife was stabbed into my heart. I wanted to grab her and run away. I had to try my best to keep it together. They came and told us it was time for surgery. We gave her kisses and hugs and handed her over to the nurse. It was so hard to leave her! I cried and Stephen and I hugged. We headed out to the waiting room and waited...and waited. It felt like hours, but I think it was only an hour before the Dr. came out (smiling) to talk to us. She said everything went well and that we had made a good decision to follow through with the procedure. She said Sydney may have to stay the night because she had some sort of "episode" during surgery while the breathing tube was in her throat. She wanted to be extra cautious and see how she was doing after the anesthesia wore off.

After a little bit we got to go back and wait for her to wake up. She didn't wake up happy. She seemed to be in pain and cried. I felt so bad for the other people in the recovery room waking up out of surgery to a screaming baby. I was getting annoyed by the nurses and their lack of knowledge with dealing with a baby waking up from anesthesia. One of the nurses asked me if she was a "crier". She was in pain - of course she was going to cry! They ended up giving her morphine which only knocked her out again and when she woke up she was grumpy and groggier then before. Finally they moved us into another area where there were other babies and children. They were stocked with diapers, pedialite and the nurses seemed to be a little more comfortable with babies. Sydney had a little apple juice and some Tylenol and when the anesthesiologist gave us the okay we were able to get her dressed and leave. She was still grumpy but when we got out to the waiting room to see the grandparents her face lit up. She looked at each on of them in the eye and gave the biggest happy grin. It was such a sweet moment to see all that love.

She did well on the drive home and was okay until bedtime. She cried and nothing we did helped. Finally I brought her into bed with me and just held her until she fell asleep. She woke several times for medicine and a bottle. The next night was more of the same. Last night she slept better and I'm hoping she'll be back on schedule this week. The lack of sleep is wearing on me. Other then her sleep schedule regressing to her newborn days she is doing well. She seems happy and she has an huge appetite. She hasn't been able to wear her hearing aids yet but I'm going to try to put them in soon so she won't get too used to going without them. She doesn't seem to be hearing any better then before but of course it's hard for me to tell since I know she's hearing - but I just don't know how clear things are for her. We'll have her hearing tested again soon. Stephen & I were sure she said the word "kiss" the other day. She understands when I say "kiss kiss" and loves kissing her stuffed animals and the cat but to actually hear her say what sounded like "kish" was amazing. It would be "so Sydney" for her first work to be "kiss". She is so lovable and so affectionate. She was born with the gift of a golden heart. My baby is so very "kishable"! :)

No it's NOT twins!
22 weeks & 3 days!

2009 has been rough so far! What a week! Work has been extremely stressful. The big boss has been a nightmare and no matter how hard I try I can't seem to stay out of her radar. I don't think anyone in the office is immune to her wrath but somehow I feel like I've been her favorite target lately. This women is going to give me early labor is she doesn't let up. I feel so terrible for subjecting my baby to such an ugly environment. Stress can't be good for the baby and for me! There were a few days where I started tearing up at my desk but I sucked it up & kept going. I only have a few more months of work & I can get through this. My boss is fairly understanding & she told me she would understand if I don't return from maternity leave. She's ready to bail herself! My boss and I are meeting with the "evil one" on Wednesday about the expectations and concerns she has with our department. Ugh...Hopefully after Wednesday she finds some other victims!

I also had a terrible doctors appointment on Tuesday. I had an acupuncture appointment to relieve siatica & tension. I was really looking forward to it! The doctor ended up being an eccentric kook who told me my problem was that I gained too much weight already. She made me do some stretches, told me to walk more & sang me a childish little song about all the foods that I am no longer allowed to eat. No acupuncture! She said my baby was going to be gigantic & if I keep gaining weight it will be hard to get the baby out. She made me feel like a bad mom & not to mention a fat ass! I have gained more weight then I probably should have for this week of pregnancy but I'm eating healthy. I do get cravings for bad food which I occasionally give into but for the most part I eat pretty well. I do eat more then I used to because I eat breakfast (which I never used to) & I snack during the day. If I go too long without eating I get so terribly hungry! I am trying to cut my juice & sugar intake. I was addicted to juice for awhile & I'm sure that it's part of the reason I put on weight. It's just hard to find something healthy to drink other then water! Sugary drinks are bad, caffeine is bad, diet soda is bad...what else is there to drink!? It's terrible...I am just trying to do everything in moderation. I am going to listen to my body & start walking in the evenings. I can't help that I have a baby King Kong in my belly!

Other then the above rant, things are good. I love my husband (who is currently watching relaxing on the sofa), my family, my fur babies & this little wiggle worm who is making his/her presence known as I type. I am so thankful for everything I have. Despite my crappy job situation, I love my life.

I can't believe I'm already 23 weeks & counting! Time is flying! Guess what!? I think we may have picked our baby girl name! We're keeping it a secret for now. =) We have a few boy names but all the boy names I like are taken by people we know. Ugh, it's tough! I really hate sharing my favorite names because people make the rudest comments. So I apologize to those of you who are dying to know our names but I don't want to taint any of the names we've picked. It's bad enough that my husband has shot down some of the names I really like! LOL!

Check out our registry on Baby's R Us. It's mostly done although I may change a few things. Registering was so stressful! Who knew a baby required so many gadgets! Although I'd like to think of myself as an informed mom to be I'm still pretty clueless about a lot of things. This is going to be harder than I thought! Despite my worries, I can not wait to meet this baby & be a mom. 117 days to go!

Yucky So Cal smokey sky

My first baby items =)

My Baby Bump - 15 weeks & 3 days. I look huge already! Yikes!

The weekend went by way too fast as usual. We stayed inside for the most part due to the thick smoke caused by the wildfires. I really love the warm Santa Ana winds but they bring devastation every year. The smoke is still pretty thick so I skipped my morning walk across campus.

I thought I felt the baby move the other day - but I think it may have been gas or wishful thinking. There are so many unusual feelings going on in my belly that I can't distinguish anything. I had some pretty intense cramping on Saturday night but it has subsided so I think I'll just wait it out until my appointment a week from today. I have been pretty crampy this whole pregnancy & it's caused quite a bit of worry. I know things are stretching but I can't find anyone who has experienced cramping this extreme & this long into pregnancy. I hope I'm just being paranoid & that things are progressing normally. I have my AFP test on Monday so that is yet another thing to keep me up at night. The worry never ends.

I'm really looking forward to my 18-week ultrasound. Stephen will finally get to see & hear the baby. We have decided to not find out the sex so hopefully the tech doesn't accidentally slip! Or maybe I'm hoping the tech WILL accidentally slip. haha! Since my first pregnancy symptoms surfaced I was convinced this baby is a girl...but lately I have been second guessing my first instinct & I'm feeling a strong possibility that it's a boy. I always pictured myself the mom of boys so if this baby is indeed a little girl I will be really shocked - despite my early instinct. I keep imagining having a little girl & then I imagine having a little boy & I honestly don't know what I'd prefer. I'm so excited either way! No matter what the sex of the baby turns out to be I'm imagining it looking like a baby Stephen. It's so darn romantic to think that a little baby Stephen is growing in my belly. Does that sound creepy? LOL! I think it's pretty cool. I can picture him/her already!