It's a...

GIRL!


Kate Reese
8-2-11 @ 6:31PM
7lb 30z 19 1/2 inches long

Birth Story

I was hoping I'd go into labor on my own before my scheduled c-section on August 10th. Since I had a previous c-section and I had gestational diabetes I was on a bit of a time crunch. I tried everything to induce labor. I ate pineapple (tons of it), Taco Bell, spicy Mexican chile and spicy Thai food. I walked, did squats, went swinging at the park and even visualized going into labor. I took Evening Primrose Oil, had a pedicure and had my membranes stripped. I tried just about every technique I read about online. I was induced with Syd and so I began to doubt my bodies ability to go into labor on it's own. I made peace with the possibility of another c-section and told myself I needed to be patient and let things happen. Stephen kept joking that I had to wait until he finished working his last overtime shift before going into labor. His last day of overtime was on Monday the 1st. I woke up that morning to mild contractions that were coming about every 5- 10 minutes apart. I really didn't think this was any different from the previous days because I had been having contractions for weeks. Shortly after posting my 39 week post (see below) I started to notice the contractions getting stronger and moving into my back and upper abdomen. I felt that there was a very strong possibility this might be the real thing. I started frantically running around the house and packing last minute items. Stephen got home from work at 10:45pm and as soon as he walked in the door I told him we needed to head over to Labor & Delivery. The plan was to have my father in law watch Sydney and then have my sister in law come and take over in the morning. We called them both and finished getting ready to go. We got checked into triage by midnight and were only there for about 20 minutes when they determined I was 4 cm dilated and in active labor. I couldn't believe I had a chance at having a VBAC! They got us checked into our room and we tried to get some sleep. I didn't sleep a wink. The contractions were painful enough to keep me from sleeping and besides I was way too anxious and excited to sleep. By morning my contractions were spacing out and I hadn't progressed much. I was becoming really bummed out because my Dr. had told me that since I was trying for a VBAC I wouldn't be allowed to have pitocin. One of the midwifes came in and said that since I had gone into labor on my own and was already dilated to a 4 that they had decided they would give me a little pitocin to keep things moving along. Yay! They started the pitocin somewhere around 7am. Soon after the pitocin was started my contractions picked up & I started progressing again. I tried to hold off on the epidural as long as possible since I was worried it might slow things down. Soon enough the pain was getting intense so I asked for them to call anesthesia. The midwife was super supportive of me wanting to VBAC and she took things very slow. She was very patient about breaking my water and waited until the baby had dropped a bit and I was dilated to 6.5. Once my water was broken things got super intense. The pain was back with a vengeance. The midwife called anesthesia and they shot some more meds into my epidural. It didn't seem to do much because the pain was almost becoming unbearable. At first I was able to breathe through the contractions and I focused on the second hand on the clock as a distraction from the pain. It seemed to help for a bit. Then all of a sudden the pain went from slightly bearable to completely unbearable. The best way to describe the pain was it felt like a knife was being stabbed up my butt with every contraction. At this point I totally lost control. First there we tears, then uncontrolable sobbing, then moaning, then I began to make these animalistic sounds that were completely involuntary. Between contractions I recall (and Stephen has reminded me) saying the following things.

Help! I'm having butt labor!

I know there is back labor but is there even such a thing as butt labor? Help!

Please don't judge me if I poop!

Help me! I'm going to poop!

This is unnatural!

It's bullshit when people say kidney stones are worse then labor!

This is going to kill me!!!

I'm about to die!!!!!!!!!!

Why am I doing this?

I want a c-section!

and Help me! Help me! Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #$%^!!!

Yeah, it wasn't my finest moment but now I can look back and laugh about it. I kept apologizing to Stephen and my mom and begged them to apologize to the people who (may or may not) heard me from the hall and the other rooms. They assured me that no one could hear me & that there was no need to apologize. The nurse and midwife came to the conclusion that the baby was posterior (sunny side up) and that is why I was having so much pain. They had me get on all fours and rock back and fourth. They instructed Stephen to put pressure on my back during the contractions which helped for maybe a few minutes at the most. Nothing seemed to work to ease the pain and I was begging for more meds. The nurse checked me & I was still at an 8 so she asked if I wanted something else for the pain. Of course I did! They gave me some nubain and it made me black out for a few minutes but it didn't ease the pain in the slightest. Then all of a sudden I felt the baby drop & it felt like I had to push. The nurse checked me & it was baby time! I started pushing and it seemed to relieve the pain slightly. It didn't take long before they prepared for delivery & called the Dr. It so happened my Dr. had started her shift & she would be the one to deliver the baby. It was amazing luck to have my Dr. be the one to deliver since she was the one to be supportive of me having a VBAC in the first place. She never doubted me, sent me for growth scans or discouraged me even with the GD diagnosis. I think I pushed about 6 times before my little angel was born. They immediately put her on my chest & I felt her warm little body. It was amazing. I heard the Dr. say "It's a Girl" & I couldn't believe it! My sweet baby Kate. Another precious little girl to love & adore. I thought the whole time I was having a 9lb boy & "surprise! " it's a spunky 7lb baby girl. There goes my mother's intuition! Although I always dreamt the baby was a girl. I just didn't put much stock into my pregnancy dreams. Anyway, recovery has been great. It's been night and day from my c-section recovery. I was released from the hospital 24 hours after having Kate and have been back to my old routine. I'm so proud of my body and that I was able to do this. I'm thankful that I had a supportive Dr. and an awesome midwife who guided me through the birth. I feel like if I could get through pain of labor then I can get through anything. All I wanted to do was try for another birth experience and I was able to achieve that and more. It sure wasn't what I expected and it was way more painful then I thought it would be. I made it through and I have gained a new respect for my body and my ability to endure. Having a VBAC also gave me a different perspective on Sydney's birth. I can love and appreciate both births in their own way. I think they were equally as difficult and just as amazing and special.

Anyway, life is wonderful. I am so in love with my girls and my hubby. Although life with a new baby & a toddler has also been hectic. Kate is a little sweetheart. I'm trying to get to know her & still give Sydney the attention she needs. I feel so torn. Syd's been acting out and it's put some added stress on me. I'm also having difficulties nursing and today the hormones got the best of me and I've had two crying episodes. I go from thinking I am the luckiest women alive to I am failing at motherhood and breastfeeding. My poor husband was doing his best to console me. He's been so awesome and supportive through everything. I'm trying to take things one day at a time and I keep telling myself things will get easier. It will get easier, right?

I still can't get over the fact I have two girls. Sisters! It's going to be a wild ride! I'm giddy about shopping for Kate and dressing my girls in matching outfits. Fun times ahead!

Here are some photos of the loves of my life.


Daddy's girls!

Love!!!

39 weeks

Nearing the end of the road! Hopefully my next post will be a birth story!

37 weeks - Full Term

Eek! I'm nearing the end! My c-section is set for 8/10 at noon so here's hoping that I go into labor on my own & get my vbac before they slice me open. I am already contracting & dilated to 2cm (since week 35) so there is hope. Today the eviction process begins. I'm going to eat my weight in pineapple, have some spicy food & walk walk walk. Here's hoping that no matter how the baby enters the world that s/he is healthy. Here's also hoping that my big girl adjusts well to all the changes.

34 weeks today!

Farewell bikini! Sporting a bathing suit (tent) at 34 weeks exactly!

I'm getting close! I have been on an emotional roller coaster this week. Everything is making me cry. I can't sleep and I'm so bored of the food on this damn GD diet. I "cheated" & ate a cupcake at a bday party last weekend & I almost cried because it was so delicious. I just want to get to the end already...but then when I think of Sydney not being my only baby I start crying & want the days to pass slowly even if it means eating my weight in peanut butter & eggs. It's really pathetic! Other then being a sappy, teary eyed mess, I am feeling great. I'm starting to swell some & getting a bit of hip pain at night but I feel (and look) nothing like I did with Syd. My GD numbers have been excellent so I'm pretty confident I can stay off insulin & remain diet controlled. I'm just so sick of the whole thing but I know it's best for baby & me. I've only gained 19lbs this entire pregnancy and up until this week I've had lots of energy. Syd is on vacation from school so my schedule has been disrupted. It's made me really lazy. I'm putting all my energy into getting the baby's room ready but I'm depending on Stephen to do some work to the room before I can do all the fun, detailed stuff. I'm anxious to get everything put together & I desperately need to get Syd into her big girl bed before too long. I've been having quite a bit of painful contractions so I'm scared this baby will come early and the house will be a mess. I've begun nesting! I'm starting to notice dust on base boards & water drops on the bathroom mirror. Help, it's beginning! I remember with Syd I was up one morning at 5:45am baking blueberry muffins. Yesterday I planted flowers in Syd's garden and last night I was up making jam from the apricots we picked off of our tree. It's crazy! I should be sleeping now but here I am blogging to my 13 (loyal?)followers. I've got so much swirling around in my head which makes it hard to sleep. Things I have yet to do around here, needing a date night with the hubs, my baby shower, all the things I want to do with my sweet girl before this baby comes, boy or girl?, baby names (we have none), baby's hearing, Sydney after the baby comes, my sanity after the baby comes, who is kicking my bladder all night long?. Sigh...I keep telling myself to calm down. "It will all be ok". Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

32 weeks & 5 days

I dreamt the baby was a girl and born at 33 weeks. She was so sweet & beautiful. I felt so protetective over the baby in the dream. I was so upset that everyone was dissapointed it wasn't a boy. I just wanted to grab her, run away and keep her safe. The dream felt so real. It really threw me for a loop since I've been totally convinced this baby is a boy. I'm 34 weeks today so I guess that dream wasn't much of a premonition. I'm back to believing it's a boy...but now there is a seed of doubt planted!

If it's not one thing it's another! Now I have a UTI! First a subchrionic bleed, then a kidney stone, then GD...and now this! Arghhhh...I'm somewhat nearing the end so I'm trying to keep a positive outlook. The end result will be another sweet baby. At least I'm feeling a little more upbeat about having GD since my last post. The GD diet is still a drag but I am learning to live with it. My numbers have all been excellent with the exception of the time I slipped & ate a grilled chicken sandwich & 2 waffle fries from Chik-fil-a. I've also found that banana & even healthy cereals raise my morning blood sugar to just below the max so I need to be careful about portion sizes. In addition to boring eggs, nuts & cheese I have managed to figure out how much of my favorite foods I can eat without making my blood sugar go haywire. Tonight Stephen, Syd & I went out to dinner & I had carnitas, 1 small tortilla, avocado, beans & salad...plus a few tortilla chips & my blood sugar was completely normal. I did do some speed walking after dinner though. I try to walk or do some sort of exercise after every meal which I hope to keep up after the baby is born. I'm doing OK although the list of "bad foods" I want after delivery is growing. I recently added Italian cookies & spumoni ice cream cake to my list after going to an Italian deli with my father in law the other day. I could have cried looking at all the goodies in the bakery case. I want pasta so bad. I am dreaming of lasagna & garlic bread. Plus crispy tacos! Oh & I want tres leches cake after seeing someone make it on the food network. Mmmmm, Mmmmmm! At this rate I will probably gain more weight after the baby arrives. I've been trying to take my mind off of food by nesting. This week I'm working on my sewing craft area, the new nursery & Syd's room. I'm so excited! We bought Sydney a big girl bed and some pretty bedding. I will post photos once everything is set-up. Eek! I'm so giddy over decorating. I'm looking forward to sharing the end result very soon.

31 weeks...almost

I've got about 9 weeks to go before this baby makes his/her appearance. Part of me hopes that the weeks fly by & another part of me wants the summer to go slow so I can enjoy these last few weeks of being mama to one sweet child. It's going to be so strange to be a mom of two!

This week has been a little rough. I found out last week that I have gestational diabetes. It sucks...big time! I met with a dietitian and have been on the gd "diet" for almost a week. I'm also testing my blood 4 times a day. It's not pleasant, but it's tolerable. The diet isn't too bad. At least that is what I keep telling myself. The reality is that I'm craving a big hunk of chocolate cake and the thought of not being able to indulge has literally brought me to tears several times. I was doing really good the whole week but tonight I had a mini breakdown. It's just really overwhelming. I feel silly for even complaining about a stupid piece of cake but what pregnant women doesn't have the need to indulge now & then. It's rather pathetic how much I've been thinking about sweets! I'm not a glutton or fast food junkie but I do enjoy a good carb loaded meal. I feel like my day revolves around counting carbs, meal times, snack times, exercising and testing my blood. I'm less than a week in & I'm so sick of eggs, nuts & peanut butter. I was in such a piss poor mood today. Sydney was driving me up the wall. She was into everything. I was trying to cook one of my diet plan dinners and she was pulling things off the counter, getting into the cupboards, pouring goldfish crackers on the floor, pulling up the area rugs, clinging to my legs and demanding I dance with her to the ABCs. I was trying my best to give her attention and cook but in the end I ended up with a whiny child, burnt asparagus & half raw chicken. I was so hungry and I seriously wanted to scream. I figured I'd eat what I could salvage and take Sydney around the block on her bike. Half way into the ride she wanted to walk and resisted holding my hand. We don't have sidewalks here so I had to fight to hold her hand & push the bike home in the middle of the damn street. Then when I got home I found that the dog had broken through the dog gate, pooped in the bathroom and got into the trash. I was seriously going to lose it. I put Syd to bed without a bath or brushing her teeth and I'm trying to take some deep breaths despite the fact that I can hear her yelling for me from her crib. I need her to go to bed so I can have a good cry & eat my sugar free pudding in peace. Arghhhhhh. Some days are just harder than others. Especially when you know that two babies and a husband are depending on you but all you want to do is run away to a quiet place and eat cake all alone.

Happy 11 months

My beauty!

Sydney is walking! She started walking 2 days before she turned 11 months old and a week after her bottom teeth broke through. The last couple of weeks have been full of amazing milestones. She gets more beautiful everyday. She is such a sweet, loving, feisty little thing. Walking is bittersweet...It's exciting but yet she is moving closer & closer to toddlerhood.

All these milestones have wreaked havoc on Sydney's sleep schedule. She has been fighting her naps & waking up many times throughout the night. The nighttime routine is the same. I go in & comfort her, rearrange blankets, give her her paci and hand her Roo. Then she falls immediately back to sleep, I get back in bed, start to fall asleep and it happens all over again. This happens up to 7 times a night. Every time I hear her cry out I can feel my blood pressure rise. It's been physically and mentally draining. I can't really let her cry because Stephen wakes at 4am for work. I think this weekend we're going to have to try sleep training again. I have really put my own well being on the back burner lately and things are about to change. I have changed my diet, started to exercise and hopefully a peaceful night's sleep will follow. I have 20 lbs to lose and I am motivated by more then just vanity now. I really need to get healthy. Follow me on this journey. I weighed in this past Tuesday and I'll post weekly updates here.

In my quest to nurture my creative self, I photographed the newest member of our family. My niece, Alexis Sunshine. Here are some photos for your viewing pleasure.

Isn't she cute?

P.S. Despite the sadness of Sydney becoming a toddler...I am so excited for her 1st birthday party. I went to Micheal's & Dollar Tree yesterday and bought craft stuff to make Zoo themed decorations. I can't wait to give you all a "preview". Eek! I'm excited! Did I already say that?

Sorry I've been M.I.A...Our Internet was out at home & I try to keep my Internet use to The Bump only during working hours. LOL. After a long meeting yesterday much of my work stress has been alleviated. There's still lots of work tension & drama but I think I can manage until April. I think my 1st day of maternity leave will be April 2nd! My doctor will sign me out 4 weeks early & I will take some comp days I've been saving prior to that. I just don't think I can last one more day past April 2nd. I'm so ready for some time off before "D Day". Kudos to those women who work up until thier due date. I just can't do it.

So here's what's happened since I last wrote:

I was in L&D 2 weeks ago. It ended up being what they thought was a bladder infection. The baby is feet down so that's why I am feeling lots of lovely bladder kicks! I hope he/she turns soon because those tiny toes are resting on a delicate area. The baby seems to be mild mannered & I haven't felt any hard punches yet. Maybe it's all the extra belly padding? ;)

My last doctor appt. went very well. The doctor was much nicer & we had a nice chat. She said my belly was a perfect size and she wasn't concerned with my weight. Take that all you people who keep asking if it's twins! I think I'm going to sock my boss if she says "it's twins" one more time! I've had like 6 ultrasounds & there is only one giant baby in there! Ugh!

I took my glucose test & unfortunately I failed. I barely failed but now I have to take a 3 hour glucose test to make sure I don't have Gestational Diabetes. I'm pretty confident I'll pass but I'm still concerned that my sugar levels were so high. I've been trying to cut out sugar & salt the best I can. With the exception of a piece of Pan Dulce I am doing pretty good this week. I can't seem to control my craving for Pineapple & Bionicos though. Soooo good! I haven't had fries in quite awhile & that has been pure torture. Oh, how do I miss you dear french fries!

My baby shower is tentatively set for March 29th. I can't wait! I really wanted a co-ed shower but I added up all the guests & it would be the same size as our wedding. It's just too many people & too much stress to throw a big party like that again. I think it will end up being all the lovely women in our lives & our dads - and our brothers if they are interested. We couldn't leave them out. =)

Less than 100 days until my due date! 98 to be exact! Whooooo hooooooo! I have so many emotions & they change daily. Sometimes I feel complete panic, other times I glow with happiness & then there are time when I feel both emotions at once. It's so unbelievably crazy how amazing this whole experience has been. Even the yucky aspects of pregnancy (and there are many) have been a blessing. I could do without the hip pain, leg cramps, bloating, weight gain, exhausted, gas, cramping, nausea and all the other pregnancy perks but I know that when I see the babies face it will all be worth it. I keep wondering what he/she will look like! Stephen boasts that he did he part to make the baby cute! LOL! We will see...

My back is spasming so I am off to watch American Idol & convince Stephen to rub my back. =) I promise to post a belly pic soon & some photos of nursery decor that I am obsessed with.

Eek, baby is violently kicking on my bladder...maybe not so mild mannered after all! A soccer player, perhaps?

Happy Viability Day My Sweet Baby! I'm 24 weeks!

Things I hate about being pregnant...

Feeling like a cow & getting scolded at doctor appts.

Weird & freaky symptoms - like a swollen left kankle!

People asking if I'm having twins over & over. Do I look that big??? Don't answer! LOL!

The constant worrying.

Things I love about being pregnant...
Belly Rubs & Hugs - well except for stranger belly rubs which I've only experienced once. Ick!
Feeling the baby move - even when it keeps me up!
Looking at adorable baby stuff.
Imagining what he/she will look like & imagining if it's a HE or a SHE!
Eating for two.
Seeing my hubby get excited about the baby.

Anyway, Happy Friday everyone.

No it's NOT twins!
22 weeks & 3 days!

2009 has been rough so far! What a week! Work has been extremely stressful. The big boss has been a nightmare and no matter how hard I try I can't seem to stay out of her radar. I don't think anyone in the office is immune to her wrath but somehow I feel like I've been her favorite target lately. This women is going to give me early labor is she doesn't let up. I feel so terrible for subjecting my baby to such an ugly environment. Stress can't be good for the baby and for me! There were a few days where I started tearing up at my desk but I sucked it up & kept going. I only have a few more months of work & I can get through this. My boss is fairly understanding & she told me she would understand if I don't return from maternity leave. She's ready to bail herself! My boss and I are meeting with the "evil one" on Wednesday about the expectations and concerns she has with our department. Ugh...Hopefully after Wednesday she finds some other victims!

I also had a terrible doctors appointment on Tuesday. I had an acupuncture appointment to relieve siatica & tension. I was really looking forward to it! The doctor ended up being an eccentric kook who told me my problem was that I gained too much weight already. She made me do some stretches, told me to walk more & sang me a childish little song about all the foods that I am no longer allowed to eat. No acupuncture! She said my baby was going to be gigantic & if I keep gaining weight it will be hard to get the baby out. She made me feel like a bad mom & not to mention a fat ass! I have gained more weight then I probably should have for this week of pregnancy but I'm eating healthy. I do get cravings for bad food which I occasionally give into but for the most part I eat pretty well. I do eat more then I used to because I eat breakfast (which I never used to) & I snack during the day. If I go too long without eating I get so terribly hungry! I am trying to cut my juice & sugar intake. I was addicted to juice for awhile & I'm sure that it's part of the reason I put on weight. It's just hard to find something healthy to drink other then water! Sugary drinks are bad, caffeine is bad, diet soda is bad...what else is there to drink!? It's terrible...I am just trying to do everything in moderation. I am going to listen to my body & start walking in the evenings. I can't help that I have a baby King Kong in my belly!

Other then the above rant, things are good. I love my husband (who is currently watching relaxing on the sofa), my family, my fur babies & this little wiggle worm who is making his/her presence known as I type. I am so thankful for everything I have. Despite my crappy job situation, I love my life.

I can't believe I'm already 23 weeks & counting! Time is flying! Guess what!? I think we may have picked our baby girl name! We're keeping it a secret for now. =) We have a few boy names but all the boy names I like are taken by people we know. Ugh, it's tough! I really hate sharing my favorite names because people make the rudest comments. So I apologize to those of you who are dying to know our names but I don't want to taint any of the names we've picked. It's bad enough that my husband has shot down some of the names I really like! LOL!

Check out our registry on Baby's R Us. It's mostly done although I may change a few things. Registering was so stressful! Who knew a baby required so many gadgets! Although I'd like to think of myself as an informed mom to be I'm still pretty clueless about a lot of things. This is going to be harder than I thought! Despite my worries, I can not wait to meet this baby & be a mom. 117 days to go!

Skeleton Baby Madrid! 18 weeks and 4 days.

My fur babies!

My belly between 19 and 20 weeks

Charlie Brown Madrid - 18 weeks & 4 days

Sorry I've been M.I.A. Work has been stressful & crazy and the last thing I feel like doing is logging online once I get home. Things have been busy at home as well. Stephen & I have been organizing the house and rearranging furniture. I even did some gardening & replaced our dead potted plants. The nesting instinct has come early! We're also busy preparing for Christmas! Yippeee! I love Christmas! The only bummer is that I'll be working over the holidays. My office is closed but they need two of us to be there to collect & process donations. Grrr...Oh well. It will be the last year of that B.S. At least I can slack off & maybe even bring Woody to work to keep me company. I'm really frustrated with work right now and even though I know that I'll be out of there soon I can't exactly have the attitude of a "short timer". I still have to act as though I care. It's hard to care about anything else when all I can think about is this baby. I'm daydreaming about the baby all day. I can't wait to be a full time mommy!

I had my BIG ultrasound last week. We held strong and did not find out the sex. I didn't even see anything that gave me any idea of what it might be. They did all the measurements & then the tech brought Stephen in to show us both the baby moving around. It was so cool. The baby was moving it's arms & waving at us. At one point the baby turned it's head and grinned at us. It was so funny! The ultrasound photos weren't that detailed but they were still pretty amazing. One of the photos the baby has a Charlie Brown profile and on the other it looks like a little skeleton. We also got a photo of the little legs and feet which is so cute. After the ultrasound Stephen and I went to dinner at the mall & I bought some maternity clothes & belly butter. My belly is growing leaps & bounds and I'm terrified of stretch marks - among other things! I got a glimpse of my naked self in the mirror and I was like Whoa, whose beer belly is that!!!??? My body has changed so much and despite the warm and fuzzy feeling I am having about having this little baby growing in my belly I am feeling a little self conscious. I can't wait to get back on my mountain bike again. I'm hoping to be riding again by July...but we will see how I feel and if I have the time and energy.

The other news in the Madrid house is that our little dachshund Woody was neutered. Poor guy! He really needed it though. He had become quite the little nightmare and was enamored with the cat. He had his surgery on Friday and by Sunday my little man was back! I forgot how sweet and loving the old Woody was! Those hormones made him a terror. He's healing up nicely and hasn't exhibited any of his bad behaviour. The only problem now is that it's raining and he refuses to go outside to pee! We keep puppy pads for him but the little devil peed in his bed this afternoon. I guess it's better there then on the carpet!...My pets are so lovable. I know that they are inevitably going to have to take the backseat when the baby comes but I am going to really try hard to give all my babies love. I've been doing some research about introducing the baby to the animals. Luckily they are angels with my baby nephew. People keep telling me how the animals will be kicked to the curb when the baby comes but I think any loving and dutiful pet owner has the responsibility of making time for their pets as well. The baby will come first but I am adamant about making time for the fur babies as well.

Tomorrow I will be 20 weeks! That means I am officially at the half way point. Boy, does time fly! I am just over the moon with excitement. By the way, I have had 4 baby dreams! Here's what they were about:
1. I had an indian baby girl

2. I had the most beautiful baby girl I've ever seen

3. My belly grew like a pyramid (it was a Boy)

4. I had an adorable baby boy & Stephen grabbed him & ran off. (LOL)..

So far...I'm 2 and 2 with dreaming of the sex of the baby. My mother's intuition stinks!

Yucky So Cal smokey sky

My first baby items =)

My Baby Bump - 15 weeks & 3 days. I look huge already! Yikes!

The weekend went by way too fast as usual. We stayed inside for the most part due to the thick smoke caused by the wildfires. I really love the warm Santa Ana winds but they bring devastation every year. The smoke is still pretty thick so I skipped my morning walk across campus.

I thought I felt the baby move the other day - but I think it may have been gas or wishful thinking. There are so many unusual feelings going on in my belly that I can't distinguish anything. I had some pretty intense cramping on Saturday night but it has subsided so I think I'll just wait it out until my appointment a week from today. I have been pretty crampy this whole pregnancy & it's caused quite a bit of worry. I know things are stretching but I can't find anyone who has experienced cramping this extreme & this long into pregnancy. I hope I'm just being paranoid & that things are progressing normally. I have my AFP test on Monday so that is yet another thing to keep me up at night. The worry never ends.

I'm really looking forward to my 18-week ultrasound. Stephen will finally get to see & hear the baby. We have decided to not find out the sex so hopefully the tech doesn't accidentally slip! Or maybe I'm hoping the tech WILL accidentally slip. haha! Since my first pregnancy symptoms surfaced I was convinced this baby is a girl...but lately I have been second guessing my first instinct & I'm feeling a strong possibility that it's a boy. I always pictured myself the mom of boys so if this baby is indeed a little girl I will be really shocked - despite my early instinct. I keep imagining having a little girl & then I imagine having a little boy & I honestly don't know what I'd prefer. I'm so excited either way! No matter what the sex of the baby turns out to be I'm imagining it looking like a baby Stephen. It's so darn romantic to think that a little baby Stephen is growing in my belly. Does that sound creepy? LOL! I think it's pretty cool. I can picture him/her already!